From Simple to successful: Round ii

INSPIRED BY: VITALY POTSELUEV

If my last post was a little too self-helpy and serious, this post is for you. I'm callin' it Round II. 

If you want to become successful and well-known and you're from a super small town, here are ten things you should do: 

1. Learn how to create animal balloons. People in small towns love animal balloons. Plus, if you learn how to make a dolphin animal balloon, you'll be golden.

2. Purchase a case of chalk and spend a full day writing your name on the sidewalks outside area businesses. Proceed to ignore all angry phone calls from business owners.

3. Offer to teach little kids how to whistle. Soon you'll become known as the Town Whistler (or something like that), and then you can start charging tuition.

4. Be sure to order milk every single time you eat at a restaurant. And then order soda. Make sure everyone sees you pour the soda into your glass of milk. Drink it and be proud. Yes, keep drinking it. Pretend it's a watered-down rootbeer float. Yum!

5. Open an ice cream stand and don't sell ice cream.

6. Contact your local art gallery and ask if they are interested in exhibiting your second grade artwork. Stick figure family members rule.

7. Light a candle, let it burn (Usher-style), dip your fingers into the wax and walk around like a totally new version of Edward Scissorhands.

8. Call your local newspaper and ask them to write a story about your new ice cream stand, which happens to serve Milk Soda. 

9. Don't yodel. Whatever you do, don't yodel. 

10. Do not listen to a word I say. In fact, don't read this blog. What are you doing here, anyway? 
_______________________________________________________________________________
Holy crapoly! Can I add a number 11 to a Top 10 list? I just want to say that I was kidding about number 10. I think you should continue to read this blog during your lunch break, in between television commercials, or on your mobile device that is suffering from low battery life as a result of playing Angry Birds.
 
I like the black and yellow Angry Birds, just in case you care. But you probably don't, unless you're a Steelers fan.